“I spent much too many years in my teens and early 20’s obsessing over my complexion, my weight, my nose, my hair and everything in between. It didn’t matter how many times my mom told me I was beautiful, it really never registered. I wish it didn’t take all this time for me to accept that this is who I am.
Something amazing happens when you really start to love and embrace yourself. The moment I stopped trying to experiment with lightening creams because an aunt told me I needed to, or hiding from sun for fear of getting darker, or getting a perm every other week, for fear of the tiniest appearance of kinky hair, that became the moment, I started to love my reflection. And I tell you, if you love what you see, other people start to see that as well. I kid you not, I only started wearing shorts and skirts about 2-3 years ago. I can laugh at it now- how sad. Four years of college and I didn’t wear short skirts because of what someone may have said about their shape, size or the mosquito bites or the I’m too clumsy so I bang and scratch my legs everywhere scars.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a woman with good and bad days and I know there’ll be moments where I sit there feeling bad that I’m not some stranger or some person out there’s ill conceived idea of perfection; but now I’m in a place where I can quickly realize that it’s all really silly though. I realize I can honestly work to improve myself, eat healthy, take care of my skin without feeling the need to CHANGE myself. It is one thing to work on improving who you are and another thing altogether to strive only to completely change what makes you YOU.
Not to get too philosophical, but we are guaranteed only one thing, and thats a limited time on this planet- whether you go early like some unfortunate ones or you live past 100. Our time here will end. Which is why in my limited time, I will wear shorts (scars be damned), I will get darker in the sun (still gotta get that SPF tho’), I will let the world see every nap, curl or kink in my hair, cos thats who I am, and I don’t have the time, energy or emotional strength to pretend that I am someone else.